I've been gone for so long...my two readers (which includes my my mom and dad) have probably forgotten all about my sad little blog... Where have I been? Well, besides visiting my two readers in person for the Fourth of July holiday in the hellish state I grew up in (think religion, salt, and a famous film festival locals aren't welcome at) I visited Seattle, Washington for (in a way) my first time ever. My mom promises me I went there before as a child but I have no memory of it. I'll trust her only because she has a kind face...but it all looked new to me.
I was there shooting some various footage for my other company Layer Cake Films and I thought while there I would go and find the best view of the city. Check out this beautiful view:

This picture was taken at Kerry Park in the Queen Anne neighborhood. I asked six locals where to find it and they all pointed me in the wrong direction. I had two maps and still couldn't locate it. For any of you who have been to Seattle you are most likely aware that their street system was designed by crackheads so saying, "I had two maps" means you know that that was about as useful as having my tax return with me.
I like to go on Yelp before I go places to see if the locals can suggest any good places to eat. I went to about four places I found reviewed. The first, Honeyhole Sandwiches, was really overrated. The way people on Yelp gave this place 5 stars, as if these sandwiches were dipped in gold, I was uberexcited as I love me some sandwich. Alas, I've had better sandwiches in the deli section of my local Ralph's. I also tried Red Mill Burgers which was quite tasty, I do admit, but was saddened I only had time to try one milkshake flavor out of the ton they have. I tried Peanut Butter and it was delish...it had real peanuts in it. Uh, yum.
One morning I tried Top Pot Donuts, which according to the people on Yelp is some institution in Seattle that if you don't know about it then you are just a tourist fool. After finding my way there (again, having meth addicts on your street planning team is not a good thing city of Seattle) I waited forever behind some woman who was getting about 5 dozen donuts. Snore. As I was now all riled up and high on the cakey smell of dough that I stood looking at for three hours but could not touch, I hurriedly ordered and got the pink iced cake donut and a chocolate bar. I'm very boring but I didn't want that damned white powder from the filled donut all over my shirt. That shit does NOT go away. Okay, so the donuts were delicious. But not in the "they have done something so unique to their donuts...they are cooking gods!" type of way. I loved them because they tasted exactly like old school Winchell's Donuts from when I was a kid growing up in the aforementioned den of hell. It almost made the wait worth it. Okay, the wait was worth it if only because I had flashbacks of my youth as I stuffed the pink iced cake donut into my mouth.
Now, of the four places from Yelp I went to my far and away favorite was Trophy Cupcakes & Party. I am a cupcake fiend and I will brave the streets of any city to find me one. This place is annoying to find, not shocking in Seattle but luckily I had a local with me who wanted a cupcake as much as me so she directed me effortlessly through some of the most insane twists and turns I have ever witnessed in my years of traveling...which includes Europe whose streets were created CENTURIES ago, before cars and paving and they STILL make more sense than Seattle roadways. The shop itself sits at an odd angle inside a shopping mall but it is adorable with striped awnings and vintage party goods. The cupcakes were delicious (as a person living in LA, cupcakery mecca, they were not the best I've ever had but still great!) with tons of frosting which for me is necessary. I had the Red Velvet which had a thick pile of frosting and I got the Strawberry Lemon for later which was also pretty good. I wish I had been able to go on the weekend because they have Peanut Butter & Jelly cupcakes that I was dying to cram into my mouth, but alas, I could only make it on sad non-PB&J Friday. I also bought an adorable paper trophy (don't ask why I love things like this) and a seahorse cake decoration. 
So, this was pretty much my trip in a bloggy nutshell. I met three very nice amazing people who I hope to see again soon, ate a lot - always a good thing, and for once actually realized that though the traffic in SoCal is horrendous, the freeway and street system is ingeniously set-up and very well planned and though I loathe all the people DRIVING the streets, I should be damn thankful the state hired some persons with intelligence to set it all up and make it followable.
Oh, and on a last side note...the Sea-Tac International Airport is the most horrible place with the most evil TSA workers in the entire country. Actually they are the worst security worldwide, though those people aren't TSA, but something else. No matter, they are all better than the uneducated useless ugly smelly scummy Jubba-the-Hut looking Seattle TSA security people. I won't go into details here, but trust me, they are one-digit IQ stupid. Pack accordingly.